Women are incredible leaders, but there's a misleading narrative that women are inherently better leaders than men. That’s wrong even beyond its gender essentialism. Women often face greater disadvantages—fewer opportunities to hone leadership skills, a different reception to traits like assertiveness and directness, and a socialization towards followership. These barriers, not some inherent quality, shape the challenges women face in leadership.

Indeed, women are often socialized to be more emotionally attuned, detail-oriented, and relationship-focused, but they face significant cultural and systemic barriers to using these skills. When they excel in leadership, they are most often given chances when the going gets tough and the situation is messy in the hopes that they clean it up. If they fail, it merely confirms a damaging bias—“she was just a woman after all.”

As you may know, this is called the glass cliff. For example, Mary Barra was appointed CEO of General Motors in 2014 right before a massive recall crisis related to faulty ignition switches. She navigated the fallout and restored public trust with her transparent and accountable leadership.

I looked to Mary’s example when I faced my first crisis appointment. I was invited to apply for a position and made it to the final stage with great feedback, but ultimately came in as the runner-up. I enjoyed the process and moved on. A few months later, they came back and offered me the role, explaining their first pick wasn’t a good fit, and I accepted.

Come to find out, not only was the first pick fired, but he had blacklisted the office from achieving legal registration status, drove away the small existing team, neglected donors relationships, and stalled projects in his short stint as head of office.

This was the highest position I’d achieved in my career, and I was thrilled—full of clarity and goals. The reality was disappointing but I leveraged all my connections to secure legal status, hire highly qualified staff, organize a donor gala, and catch up on metrics for our three core programs. Even as someone who thrives on challenges, the pressure and blame I encountered were demoralizing—no wonder so many women turn away from leadership.

I’ve since reflected on and experimented with ways to ensure I don’t perpetuate this practice—neither at Sunlit Strategies nor with our clients. My team and I have agreed on a few key principles to guide us in that direction.

We maintain a long-term vision that incorporates metrics for staff diversity and leadership transitions. Our hiring process includes a transparent assessment of the role, the resources available, support systems, and the necessary decision-making authority for success. Leaders in challenging positions should receive additional support, not pressure.

If you're a woman facing a similar situation, be kind to yourself—even if it feels like you're reinforcing the stereotype that you're not "tough enough." Don’t internalize the challenges or take on unnecessary blame. Instead, set realistic expectations and prioritize your mental health as you navigate genuinely significant obstacles. Lean on your support systems, and don’t hesitate to ask for metrics and resources, whether human or financial, to measure success and share the load. Remember, you’re not meant to do it all. Set a timeline—while the first year may demand longer hours, strive for balance before burnout sets in.

If your organization has struggled to support diverse candidates, take the time to identify and address the biases that influence leadership appointments. Ensure that candidates hired for challenging roles are provided with the necessary resources to succeed, both during difficult situations and beyond.

Women deserve to be chosen for their merit—not just in crises, but always.